Hypothetical Question 101

You and your rich friend went hunting in the woods. Your friend needed to take a shit, so he lowered his pants and started shitting. Moments later, you hear him scream in pain, and you rush to see that a poisonous snake has bit his asshole while he was taking a shit. He tells you that he is going to die unless you suck the venom out of his anus.

Assumptions: He is an average friend with no hemorrhoids or other conditions, but his anus is covered in feces.  There is no time to look for others. You do not have the skill in making an incision on his asshole to take out the venom, but you do have sufficient skill in sucking out the blood to guarantee a very high chance of survival (80-90% confident), but if you don’t, he will die.

Conditions:

1) You are willingly to suck out the venom to try and save your friend.

2) You are reluctant to perform the embarrassing action, but would be willing to do it for a small reward of $10,000 US.

3) You really don’t want to do it, so you ask for $100,000 US.

4) You see an opportunity to get rich, and would be willing to do it for $1,000,000US.

5) Fuck that! I didn’t bring my toothbrush.

P.S. Don’t be shy to answer it if you are a girl. Afterall, that’s why I made it asshole instead of penis. Thought it would be too easy for the girls to pick 1 if it was penis.

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6 thoughts on “Hypothetical Question 101

  1. 5) Fuck that! I didn’t bring my toothbrush.

    I’d take a knife and amputate his ass cheek. That’s his fault for being a dumbass, shit in an open area where you can watch from animals

  2. This begs the question, why should I choose from 1-3, when 4 is clearly the more prudent decision? It would be folly to not seize the extra capital.

    Also, do I have ketchup to eat the anus with?

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